5:45 a.m.: Why do I hear cars pulling in? The braider was here all night! I just want some peace and quiet!
6:00 a.m.: Ah, the sweet, sweet sound of grain being poured and hay being thrown.
6:05 a.m.: Breakfast has been devoured. Boy, that was exhausting.
6:45 a.m.: I know I just got a bath last night, but this pile of poop would make a really good pillow…
8:30 a.m.: My person has arrived. I would recognize her cackling laugh anywhere. She always embarrasses me in front of that pretty mare that lives down the aisle!
8:32 a.m.: My person has expressed dismay at the poop on my face. And on my stomach. And on my butt. I regret nothing.
9:15 a.m.: My person led me to the wash rack and is now drenching me with the hose. Little does she know that I plan on getting her just as wet!
9:45 a.m.: My person scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. I have not yet received a treat. Perhaps I will whip her with my wet tail…
9:46 a.m.: Operation “Whip my Hair Back and Forth” is complete. My person was not amused.
10:15 a.m.: I have been placed in front of a fan to dry, but there’s nothing fun to do in these crossties. Maybe I should knock some things over!
12:00 p.m.: I’m starting to get suspicious. I’ve been in my stall for almost two hours and my person hasn’t bothered me. What does she have up her sleeve?
12:30 p.m.: I heard the screech of golf cart tires followed by my person’s boots slapping the ground at a rapid pace. It seems that we are what the humans refer to as “late”.
12:32 p.m.: There is a small army swarming around me and putting various pieces of leather on my body. I envy my forefathers who used to roam the grassy plains, untouched by humans.
12:40 p.m.: My person is wearing that funny coat and those sharp things on her boots. We have arrived at what the humans refer to as a “show ring”. I see others of my kind jumping the scariest-looking jumps I’ve ever seen.
12:47 p.m.: My person is frazzled, but the yelling lady standing in the middle of the ring keeps telling her to kick me. I don’t understand why I need to go faster!
12:50 p.m.: My person’s heart is beating so fast. I think she forgot to drink that clear stuff that comes in a big glass bottle.
1:00 p.m.: I jumped the jumps like the good boy I am. The yelling lady said I looked “very cute”.
1:30 p.m.: That pretty mare nickered at me as I walked past and my person gave me a handful of cookies. What a good day.
Photo by Erin Gilmore for Noelle Floyd/style.
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